There are certain things that make everything - without exception - cooler. By this, I of course do not mean temperature - I'm vaguely insulted that you even considered that.
Grow up, my good reader.
Now that the definitions are set, and the discipline done, I shall begin the thought experiment to prove my point:
Think about the most awesome thing you have ever seen/experienced.
Ok... you have that picture in your head? Now I am going to alter that picture just a bit, making it a minimum of 7x more awesome. Are you positively prepared for that kind of blatant over-expansion of cool? If you aren't, I recommend you sit down, remove your socks (who wares socks inside anyway) and take a deep breath.
A list of steps:
1. Find your object.
2. Commit arson. This step is very important. Make the fire huge - like, dangerous huge. In fact, throw everything you have ever cared about into the fire, even your grandma (she'll understand). Casualty count is in this case directly proportional to wow factor.
3. Attach remote control to object. Make it have an unnecessary amount of torque and a brilliantly specific number of speed adjustment dials, ambiguous switches, and even volume controls (no, I don't know what they are for or what they are supposed to do). The mere mystification of something moving by your impetus from afar is like an injection of adrenalin into the already steroid filled veins of your flaming symbol.... oh yes. Feel it.
4. Bask in the sheer adulation of everyone around you.
Don't believe me?
Normal Penguin:
Penguin on Fire (7x as cool)
In summation, I really had nothing better to write about. It's kind of upsetting.
I am making a resolution to comment on something important for the next post.
... probably.
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