On Orange Juice and Why I Hate It

Taste is subjective. It is an element of perception that is unique to the individual, and indeed one that varies widely between each of us.

Still, I posit that if there were one foodstuff that could be universally considered a slew of negative adjectives (horrible, tantric, vomitous) it would be orange juice. I stake this opinion on the grounds of taste composition, and social effect.

First, the taste composition. What exactly is orange juice supposed to be? It takes the natural deliciousness of a citrus sphere and convolutes it to the point of disguising ick. From my experienced tongue, orange juice has two distinct trends going on. There is the sweet wholesome motif, which is represented by the initial touch of your sensory stick. Then there is the 'edgy' in your face flavor blast. The only problem is, the textural requisites of wholesome become moot in the face of an edgy blast. Propagating issues, the 'flavor blast' is not necessarily a good flavor at all; it depends on the oranges used. I'd say that there is about a 73% chance that bad oranges were used. And then there is the situation where companies will try and sweeten their beverages in order to hide those lackluster oranges. Furthermore, the taste will have a secondary depreciation as the flavor disperses. This is called an aftertaste by most. This 'aftertaste' is just... i shiver ladies and gentleman. SHIVER.

Also, under taste composition: pulp. 'Nuff said.

Secondly, there is the social impact of orange juice. We drink it primarily for breakfast. Therefore, you feel like an imbecile for drinking it any other part of the day. Any beverage that influences you're self-image based on temporal consumption is just wrong in my book. Also, orange juice is malicious in what it forces upon your physical archetypes. It makes one's tongue swell to sop up the remnants of flavor lingering in mouth. This will lead to an almost reflective look of idiocy upon the drinker as well as a sad, but immediate regret for drinking. That is just an unpleasant thing to experience both primarily and secondarily.

Therefore, orange juice is the worst drink on earth. Just, ew.