On Peanuts

They are delicious. So rich and umami...

More importantly, they (it?) are (is?) a comic strip. As a side note, and this was probably more of my own deficiency than the strip's... but I was forever scarred by the sudden realization that I had been referring to good ol' charlie and friends by a completely inadequate name.

It is Peanuts. Not Charlie Brown.

Year 12 was difficult for me.

All this aside, I do have a question to ask. When is this trash excuse for comedy and social commentary going to be finally removed from pop culture annals? I know what you're thinking: "Oh my god. Is he showing anything less than an nanohertz-wise atavism in his praise of Peanuts. How dare he? Is that even legal?"

Yes ladies and gentleman. It is legal.

Peanuts is a terrible comic strip. It should not be allowed a place in the daily lime-light where its legacy can reproduce among the equally trashy readers.

Seriously, when was the last time you read a Peanuts strip and laughed? When was the last time you felt seriously and emotionally rocked by the topic being under examined?

The jokes are stale and uniform. The topicals are irreverently centered around child angst. Ladies and gentleman... "child angst." These are not the vaguely relate-able modern dramas of teen angst (which I will admit is equally balanced in the trash department). This is child angst.

Oh? Really Charlie? Your kite got stuck in a tree... again? THAT SUCKS MAN!

Why then has Peanuts immortally persisted? It is perhaps so cutting edge in its boring inaction that at the moment of its inception it became ingrained as source of completely acceptable moral humor. Tight sphincter'd past turned present leads to the cultural phenom and annoyingly high placement among comic genius.

That's my hypothesis anyway. Anality scale and whatnot.

But enough of this ranting... that girl over there is holding a football for Charlie. I bet he'll kick it this time. In fact I am relatively certain he will - the other hundred times Shultz used this tired joke has certainly disassembled by now.

ARRRRRGGGGGG!